Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Sunday, 4 July 2010

The Secret Diary of a Wimpy Housewife

Well, I am the first to admit that the title is neither original nor applies to me. I am not a wimpy housewife, no way. Inspired by my son's devouring of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid and treating it as a bible - I had to pick up the "Secret Diary of a Demented Housewife" - when I came across it at the local library.

There was an immediate affinity with diary and diarist - just reading the first page. Many a times I have vowed to spend "quality, life-affirming things to reclaim my spirit" and "staring vacantly into space" wondering about the "the selfless decision to leave the workplace." Or trying to feel noble about being a stay at home mother.
As for being wimpy - I don't always give in to the others whims. If I do - I have strong reasons like:

I do let my kids watch Cartoon Network 14 hours a day - but that's because I believe a moving, lively, colorful medium will do more for their brain than the staid colorless words in print. They will also pick up a better diction and vocabulary from the variety on TV than a monotonous storytelling session from Mom.
As for giving in and giving them Maggie for breakfast, lunch and dinner - shouldn't they learn to adjust with ready-to-cook easy meals? Where will they always get hot home cooked food?

Mothers and MILs always seem to have done the right thing when we were kids. They gave us food on time, ensured we never had a cold or ate with dirty fingers and got our homework done bang on time. What more – they were always engaged in “productive soul enhancing activities” like looking after kids and home! No retail therapy for them, buying unnecessary clothes or accessories. No “me time” too – apparently. So they say.

As my husband comments on the amount of vegetable in the Chicken Biriyani (what are carrots and peas doing in a Chicken Biriyani for God’s Sake?) – I push back all thoughts of power lunches and adult conversation at the workplace. Of a time when one ate lunch not actually cooked by oneself. Better concentrate on how very frightful the last boss was or the howling of the kid when Mom had to sneak away to work.

I have by now gone through two pages of “Secret Diary of a Demented Housewife” in between “life-affirming” and doubtful quality time spent playing Farmville. I have had no inspiration on “productive soul enhancing activities” unless screaming at the kids to finish their homework before school reopens, preparing veggie chicken Biriyani or shopping for groceries count.


If you want to read what the “Secret Diary of a Demented Housewife” by Niamh Greene says (and you will love it!), you can get it online somewhere I am sure (couldn't find it at Amazon). It has been published by Penguin Ireland.

Here is a Amazon link to the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid".

PS – My family still doesn’t know there was cabbage too in the Chicken Biryani – it blended right in with the spices! So much for being a wimpy housewife! Tee hee.

Saturday, 7 February 2009

Valentine's Day Poem - With A Difference!

There was a time when I got the Best Valentine cards,
Guys wanted to be close to me like mad.
I got the best of best friends too
Who vied to pay attention to me and woo.
I am 40 now and not getting young,
Crying for all the love and attention and a bit of song
My husband forgets the V'day
My son so young and gay
does only stuff that his girlfriends say!
20 years older and 40 pounds heavier
Oh how weary and dull life seems now
If I was a bit thin or a lot cool
I could still conquer the world
For don’t I know it all!
All of you out there, the young uns
So full of love and life and laughter
Please resist those chocolates
As you might be me twenty years on!